I had a few mountain top moments this week and since yesterday, I have been struggling both internally and outwardly. Of course, I'd like to blame it on my monthly cycle, but I know that the Lord gives us victory even over THAT, so I am left without excuse.
This morning I had to pick a new Siesta Verse (see Beth's blog to join) and I wanted to choose Proverbs 29:11, "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back."
Yep. That would have been a good one. But somehow it just didn't seem to capture ALL that needed to be held back, so I chose instead,
Ephesians 4:31-32 (New Living Translation)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Jerry Bridges in The Gospel for Real Life tells us in talking about the verse to love our neighbors as yourself (Matt 22:39), that we should cherish them, never show ungodly behavior toward them, that we should be earnest with our interest in them in all ways, that we should never feel superior, and that we should forgive all wrongs.
How are we doing on that?
For me, not so good.
Ok, pretty badly, actually. But it isn't about where we fail, for if we ask forgiveness, the Lord covers it all. I feel terrible for some of my behavior, and certainly need to commit Ephesians 4:31 to heart. (My mom has already drilled into my childhood brain verse 32; thanks mom!) I need to get up off my knees, brush myself off and strive to lean on Him through each moment.
The ranting in my brain needs to not come out of my mouth.
That would be a first step.
Then I need to let the ranting in my head be given fully to the Lord and replace it with Truth!
That's where I want to be.
It seems like a far off place today, but not everyday. Some days there are victories; some days defeat.
It isn't about being perfect.
It's about being His.
How I long for full transformation!
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