Sorry, Texas, but I'm really sick of the rain.
The dog needs some exercise, but won't go out in the rain. Don't blame her.
I've been sick since Sunday. I hate being sick. My week has been wasted with tissues and cold medicine. I'd like to be well soon.
I don't know if I like the farm. (Remember, it's raining and I'm sick; I might like it tomorrow.) Certainly the farm doesn't feel like home. It somehow feels like a vacation, but I still need to cook, clean, school, and do all the other routine tasks that make a house a home, but I am struggling.
I've spent some time thinking about why I'm on-the-fence about the farm. I enjoy the quietness and it is definitely picturesque, but the house isn't our home.
I'm still rearranging furniture, which I hate to do.
Nothing has my stamp of creativity on it. It's beige walls with our stuff inside. Blech.
I need to "nest," but don't really want to dig into any process. It's as if I don't want the farm to become our home.
I hope that's just sickness talking.
Monday, October 24, 2011
When I returned from vacation and checked my email, I got the news of two deaths, one cancer treatment and one birth. Life. One death was of a good friend who birthed a still-born son, which as a mom touched my heart deeply. I knew my friend would be second guessing herself, asking the "why" questions and struggling. Of course, she is, but her faith is strong and she is walking through this dark time trusting in the Lord. When I thought about each of these emails, I just kept thinking of Hebrews 13:5,
5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”
6 So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?”
In context, Hebrews 13:4-6 reminds us that God gives/takes away in regards to our possessions, that no matter the circumstances, He is with us and we don't have to be afraid.
Of course, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" are the two phrases that kept coming to mind, reminding me that all of these people, the ones dealing with death, cancer and an additional child to nuture all needed the comfort this verse gives. As I meditated on this partial verse, I wondered if the Lord was trying to say two different, yet complementary things or was it repeated for emphasis. I think a little bit of both is true.
In Webster's dictionary leave meant: to go away from or to fail to include or take along. Forsake meant: to renounce or turn away from entirely. Not only is the Lord staying with us, but He is also going to include us. We can't do anything, as believers, to make Him renounce us or turn away from us completely.
If I were going through dark times right now that would bring me comfort, but it also speaks to my heart in the calmness of today. He's going to include me. The sin that I repeatedly struggle with is not going to wear Him out so that He wants to give up on me. Today, He is with me. If/when I acknowledge His presence in my life moment by moment He is there to faithfully guide. He will never leave; He will never forsake. Our God is faithful!
May you find all you need today in His presence.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Recently I had a prayer request that was potentially life-changing for our family. It was regarding a job. When I shared the request with a fellow homeschool mom, she stopped and prayed with me. Her prayer was centered around me knowing the Lord's will by the peace He would bring as He revealed the answer.
I was able to go away with friends to a cabin in West Virginia where I had plenty of quiet time to ask God to show me His answer. He actually used a secular book, plus Proverbs to answer my prayer, but I kept thinking back to my friend's request, that I would know His PEACE. I had a strong sense of peace to not make any big changes. When I got home and shared with my husband and my mother, both agreed.
Of course, Philippians 4:7 kept coming to mind: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Do you have anything right now in which you need to know God's mind/will? Pray for the answer to be revealed in His Word and with an overwhelming (can't understand it!) peace. He wants you to have it!
My prayer for you this week is Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."